Hurt & Betrayed? Find healing through forgiveness
Topics to Dig Into
“I never want to see you or speak to you again!”
The words cut to the bone. The mother’s breath hitched. Her heart splintered. How did it come to this?
She held out hope for reconciliation, but at the family’s Christmas party, her daughter staggered her arrival to avoid an encounter.
Bitterness. Pain. Heartbreak. Confusion. What do we do when the wound feels too deep?
Forgive us our debts as we also have forgiven those indebted to us.
Matthew 6:12
The disciples asked Jesus for a prayer, one they would likely pray at least 3 times a day. Such a prayer, meant for repetition, likely expresses the priorities of a life pleasing to God.
Morning. Midday. Evening. With every prayer, disciples align their hearts, desires, and behavior with God’s core values. Over time it shapes us to be more like Jesus.
I’ll admit it. After years of repetition, the Lord’s Prayer lost its meaning for me. I could recite it while simultaneously making a grocery list. But when I learned to slow down and speak the prayer intentionally, it began to shape my heart and life. I learned to pray as Jesus taught.
Honor the Holy One. Seek God’s Kingdom on earth by aligning with His will. Trust God’s daily provision. Resist evil. Forgive. (not in that order)
Forgiveness is core to everyday life.
Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
Forgiveness charges us to remember that we are all created in God’s image. It forces us to see every person, always, as God sees them. An offense against a person created in the image of God simultaneously offends God, a moral debt.
Let’s be honest, we all mess up. We all say things we regret, break promises, and hurt the people we love. When we follow our inclination for revenge, a cycle of hurt spirals. Perhaps that’s why Jesus puts mercy at the heart of our faith life.
What is forgiveness?
The word ‘forgive’ means to release, let someone go, set them free of an obligation. We recall when God released the Israelites from slavery in Egypt. “Let my people go!” Moses demanded of Pharoah.
God wove forgiveness into the fabric of Hebrew life with the Shmita—an ancient practice of radical mercy. Every seventh year is a Year of Release, widely known as a sabbatical. Debts were forgiven. Slaves were freed. Even the land rested. (Exodus 23:10-11)
Does this practice seem absurd, implausible, unfair? Perhaps that’s why Jesus teaches us to remember all day, every day, to forgive as we have been forgiven. He knew us well. He understands our struggle.
Our instinct demands justice. Their offense deserves punishment. They’ll pay!
Forgiveness is above all a personal choice, a decision of the heart to go against natural instinct to pay back evil with evil.
-Pope John Paul II
Even though Jesus places mercy at the heart of a follower’s everyday life, we struggle to extend the same release we have received. We forget our own offenses and God’s right to demand payment. Instead, God provided payment for our sin through Jesus.
A forgiving heart breaks the cycle of hurt. It lets go of the desire for retribution. It wishes the other person well, even if the relationship ends.
Why is forgiveness fundamental to life with Christ?
Guess what? It’s for us, not them.
It lifts the weight of bitterness from our own hearts. It restores peace, not just in relationships, but in ourselves. It restores community, particularly one that has received God’s forgiveness, by extending it to one another.
Unforgiveness is like brewing a poison potion—then drinking it yourself. The anger festers and eats away at our peace while the offender is unaffected.
The cold shoulder. The glare. The swift exit to avoid an encounter. We’ve all seen it and probably done it. Like the fractured family in our opening story, unforgiveness chains us to bitterness, but forgiveness breaks the cycle.
Jesus makes his attitude toward unforgiveness clear.
For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Matthew 6:14-15
Those who refuse to forgive probably haven’t truly experienced the significance of God’s forgiveness.
Who do you need to forgive today?
- That burden you’ve been carrying—it’s heavy, isn’t it? You don’t have to hold onto it anymore.
- Not ready to forgive? Ask God to give you the desire.
- Then ask God for the strength to release it.
Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it sets you free.
Do you know the joy of God’s forgiveness?
Do you feel unworthy of forgiveness? God warmly welcomes you home.
Don’t think you have the strength to forgive? That’s where the Holy Spirit’s power steps in.
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