Words Hurt: How Insults Conflict with a Heart for God
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Our freshly ironed white robes rustled as we sang Psalm 100. Our burgundy bows stretched from shoulder to shoulder. A few times a year, the first-graders roused entire families to listen to our cherub voices at the 8:30am service. Siblings grumbled. I loved worshiping God by singing, but my brother crushed my joy by teasing that my terrible voice stood out from the others.
Even “just kidding” couldn’t undo the hurt.
After almost 60 years, I remember the sting of his brotherly insult and still question my singing voice. Although I now praise God with abandon, I sometimes apologize to those sitting nearby. Make a joyful noise, right?
Does an insult from long ago still impact how you see yourself?
Has someone made you feel unworthy? Inferior? Unlovable? Invisible?
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus teaches us to forgive these slights:
Love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!
Matthew 5:43-44
We’ve considered this radical challenge in several posts (here, and here, and here).
I forgave my brother long ago. However, my silly example demonstrates that even after we forgive, the impact can linger. Perhaps that’s the reason Jesus speaks to the offender in His sermon before instructing the offended.
Anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the [Sanhedrin]. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.
Matthew 5:22b
These two insults, ‘Raca’ and ‘You fool’, are the modern-day equivalent of calling someone good-for-nothing, worthless, a waste of time, or idiotic. Jesus says a person with such an attitude toward another is answerable to the supreme religious court and to God Himself.
Jesus sternly warns against perceiving any person as worthless.
Jesus cares about more than our words; our body language speaks volumes and emanates from the heart. We offend when our tone of voice implies inferiority. We offend when we turn away from a person we consider undeserving. We offend when we dismiss someone’s opinion by rolling our eyes.
Why so serious? Comments and behavior that express disregard for another leave a mark on a person created in God’s image. Even when spoken in jest, dismissive words pierce the heart of a beloved child of God, diminishing their self-image. In some cases, our unjust estimation of their worth deflates their dreams and alters the course of their life.
Such an insult could plant a seed of anger… that leads to hatred… that leads to violence. In context, Jesus bundles this seemingly benign name-calling with murder. Yes, murder! Read Matthew 5:21-24. But that is another post.
The point is that insults reveal an ungodly condition of the heart—the mouth speaks what the heart is full of (Matthew 12:34). Jesus describes a consequence of this attitude, but fortunately, also prescribes the cure:
Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
Matthew 5:23-24
Our dismissive view of others hinders our relationship with God.
It’s impossible to worship God with a pure heart when we’ve offended His beloved. Our dismissive attitude toward God’s people insults God. Such a serious condition requires extreme measures: leave the Jerusalem altar, travel home (perhaps several days), reconcile the relationship, then retrace your journey back to Jerusalem to worship God with a pure heart.
It’s the offender’s responsibility to humbly initiate reconciliation, to apologize, and to request forgiveness. The Holy Spirit can transform our hearts to regard every person as equally worthy of God’s love. We love others because God loves us (1 John 4:19).
Jesus’ emphasizes the critical connection between the posture of our heart and sincere worship.
Does a person or people group come to mind as less valuable?
How is your heart for God impacted by your heart toward His people?
What changes can you make to reorient your attitude?
#SeedsofScripture #readthebiblebetter #biblestudy #scripturestudy #Christinme #sermononthemount #wordsthathurt #wordshavepower #reconcile #transformed #betransformed #transformedlife
What a valuable post! I doubt everyone has been the target of hurtful words. You’ve given guidance and healing words to deal with the remnants of those incidents.
Correction: I have no doubt that everyone has been the target of hurst words at some point. Thanks!
I knew what you meant Marilyn. Think of the way we shake our heads and mutter under our breath in judgment, sometimes in disgust. I’m ashamed of myself when I recognize my participation. But the Holy Spirit convicts and transforms.