I used to think listening meant waiting for my turn to talk. I gave advice, offered solutions. But my eagerness to respond prevented me from truly hearing.

Listening to respond deafens my hearing.

Just as I struggle to listen, imagine how hard it was for the early church to hear one another—slave owners and slaves, Jews and Gentiles, men and women—suddenly equal in Christ.

The last two posts explored the early church’s call to gather people of all types into a community unified by their belief in Jesus. Under Paul’s guidance, they shaped the church to resemble a family under God the Father, or a body of Christ in which every part is vital to the whole.

Church founders faced a major challenge since these unique groups didn’t mingle or esteem one another.

In one situation, Paul reprimands wealthy church members for eating and drinking early, before working-class members could join them. Becoming community required an uncomfortable shift in societal norms.

The thought of sharing a meal with an unclean Gentile might send a Jew running outside to vomit. Gentiles dined on ‘disgusting’ foods forbidden by Jewish law. In their former separation, even entering a Gentile home risked spiritually defiling the Jew.

With mutual skepticism, Gentiles saw Jewish customs as strange and restrictive. But Jesus instructed his disciples to bring them together under Him.

Yet, Christ called disciples of all ethnicities into loving relationship.

Let’s imagine the discomfort, confusion, and hesitation over those first shared meals.

Conjure the most filthy, putrid, offensive dinner partner who might have enjoyed dog-burger and fried cockroaches for lunch. Without proper handwashing, without individual plates or utensils, you’ll both eat with your hands using bread to dip into shared bowls.

What might mutually respectful conversation look like? Perhaps stories of their shared joy in Jesus’ victory which bound them to one another in fellowship.

The early church’s challenge in finding unity and mutual respect remains for today’s church. God intends unified communities comprised of people who are different than us.

Listening to one another is a starting point.

The common adage ‘We have two ears and one mouth’ isn’t biblical but isn’t far from biblical truth. The saying, attributed to the 1st century Greek philosopher Epictetus, aligns with the many proverbs that warn fools about speaking without listening.

To answer before listening— that is folly and shame.
Proverbs 18:13

The word translated ‘listen’ means to hear with interest and understanding, to obey, hearken (notice the embedded word ‘hear’).

Counselors and coaches call it active listening. James says, “be quick to listen.”

• Pay close attention and lean in to what others say.
• Ask questions to capture their point and perhaps the underlying motivation
• Restate their view to assure you’ve understood correctly.

Next time you listen, pause for three full seconds before responding. Did you really hear them, or were you preparing your reply? James advises against rash responses saying, “be slow to speak” so as to avoid angry, reactive confrontations over disagreements.

In your last conversation, who spoke more—you or them? If it was mostly you, try flipping the ratio next time! When people talk to us, do they feel that their viewpoints and ideas have value?

Listen to learn and know their heart. Listen with the humble attitude that your conversation partner has something to offer, to teach, that can enlarge your worldview. Together, we discover a bigger God.

In God’s church, people of all types belong and thrive together in mutual respect and love for one another. This unity amid diversity draws outsiders into God’s loving community.

Today, be the person who makes someone feel truly heard.
Ask questions. Listen without interrupting.
Show them they matter—because they do.

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